Category: Self Wear and Tear

Maybe I Will Fly

Maybe I will fly away and leave the past all behind. Maybe I will try to stay and let the memories rule my mind.   Maybe I’ll do too much, or maybe I’ll just leave it all up to you. Maybe I’ll care too much, it’s better than having nothing else to do. Maybe I…

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Anxiety’s sometimes useful. Anxiety’s mostly abuse full. Anxiety’s always mine. Alyssa Castro 10-10-18

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When They Fell

Ask me how I felt, when they fell. Ask me to describe, the way that heat and tears melt away a thousand lives. It was hell on earth. I saw hell on earth, through my eyes. Ask me how I felt, when they fell. Ask me to describe, the sound of screams and shattered dreams,…

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Losing My Shit

A friend of mine told me today that she literally just made it home in time to get herself to the toilet.  “I thought I was going to poo my pants in my car,” she said.  (Me: Wait, what?)  “I thought I was going to…” Okay, yeah, wow.  Oh my.  Earlier today, my other friend…

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Red Pens

I love pens and markers. Mr. Sketch markers, where I can put them directly to my nose and take a sniff down sensory pleasure lane; brown root beer, yellow lemon, red strawberry, green lime – yummy and functional. Pentel, my prized possession pens saved for my best coloring work. Gel pens, reserved for my most…

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Looks like the Rain

Why can’t the rain find me today? Why can’t the rain find me today? It’s been so long pretending that I’m fine. So long living in this sunshine. So long that I’ve been crying inside. I need rain to hide how I feel. Where is the rain? Send me some rain to fall on my…

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Dominoes Pizza

Since I’ve been on my own as an adult, I’ve been seeing an off and on-again boyfriend named Dominoes Pizza.  He picks up every time I call, and he comes to me.  He brings me hot, satisfaction, that I can count on to consistently satiate me, momentarily.  We’ve never gotten to the point of marriage,…

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Permanent Markers

Certain people, places, moments and memories have left permanent marks on my life. Drawn permanently in my mind, and on my heart, these markers have forever changed me. I’ve been moved and marked by: ADHD Anxiety Autism Body Image Daddy Issues Depression Finding My North Star Food Human Connection Love Miscarriages Motherhood Music Un-Love, a.k.a…

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